..I’m pretty sure there’s not much left, so Here it is, a selection of beat poems A selection of songs, while I’m in the throng Of thoughts and misnomers Inscribed by the "tomers" [sic. writers] Writing the histories, the victor decrees What is remembered, likely not me And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by Pretty disappointed, hoped I‘d die (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by (deja vu) … I won’t misrepresent It wasn’t a lapse of judgment But a full on fucko-boingo Error rate max, synchronization lost What it takes to get accosted, by Ill thoughts possessed by demons Waking up screaming You goddamn, fuck And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by Pretty disappointed, hoped I‘d die (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by (deja vu) I can only talk in vague terms A skeleton buried so deep But not far enough into the ground It still emerges when I try to sleep I put it in the closet and threw the key away It still tried to escape In that room underneath those lights With the oath that was caught on tape Past transgressions come to haunt us Past aggressions love to taunt us Getting thrown underneath the bus Left me just a big ol’ husk Because I’ve been eaten away from the inside I promise you I never lied Well that would be affront to my mission Well I guess I only lied by omission ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled on What happened to the promise I bet on (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by Pretty disappointed, hoped I‘d die (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by (deja vu) And just like that, ten years drifted away Fuck what happened on that awful day (deja deja) And just like that, ten years drifted away Fuck what led up to that awful day (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by Pretty disappointed, hoped I‘d die (deja deja) And just like that, ten years rolled by (deja vu)

In my youth, in the deepest recesses of my mind, before existential fears and other maladies. I would find myself traipsing tight wooded corridors following a whispered promise of those melodies. Pushing past the creatures who were restlessly focused on blotting out your song I could play it on the gift you gave me when I ran away on that very fateful promised day I searched the four corners of this kingdom so many times but I never let myself forget you I kept you in the back of my mind always because isn't that what childhood friends do? And when I saw you once again it was bittersweet but knowing you would forever have my back Was inherently comforting, and this fact was what kept me determined and on the right track I could never forget you even if I wanted to And now I've battled evil and found myself restored to before I'd like to get to know you once more If that's ok, I'd like to know whether Despite our differences we can still be together And now I've battled evil and found myself restored to before I'd like to get to know you once more If that's ok, I'd like to know whether Despite our differences we can still be together Despite our differences can we still be together? Despite our differences can we still be together? My queen in green, in another world and time With an expression so entirely sublime In my teens I had dreams, now I fall apart at the seams Life without her wakes me up with screams So friendly, she reached out when I was all alone She made me feel welcome, but I left her when I got the stone Want a chance to atone. I've had the odds stacked up I've fought demons and dragons I've milked cattle dragged boxes and battled. I've had my nightmares manifest in paint Caught ghosts in a jar claimed magic from a star. Horticulture with explosive results Put up with jives and jabs and other hurled insults I've slit the throats of wolves and even raced with the dead. But all I can ever think of when I'm laying in bed? I'm so afraid of what you might say after all I've been through, that talking to you is the scariest thing I could do. And now I've battled evil and found myself restored to before I'd like to get to know you once more If that's ok, I'd like to know whether Despite our differences we can still be together And now I've battled evil and found myself restored to before I'd like to get to know you once more If that's ok, I'd like to know whether Despite our differences we can still be together Despite our differences can we still be together? Despite our differences can we still be together? Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier I fell in love with a fictional character Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier I fell in love with a fictional character Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier I fell in love with a fictional character Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier Forest sage and medallion carrier I fell in love with a fictional character

I’ve had a song stuck in my head for a dozen years reeling I’d be better off dead Lyrics pondered, wondered, tied forever into my brain matter Could be hybridized or simply lies but it left me paralyzed My mind is like a volatile bundle of forgotten times Forget people names and places but remembering some stupid rhymes From better times, I draw a new line right here at this moment Promise myself it will change but I’m still focused on this mission Pissing resources away but not towards a better box but instead toward this equinox It’s the depression Hoping my life might feel shorter after I crack this mystery Questing hard for what I’ve lost that’s forgotten by history I know this story is dumb and something that is never won But a few leads, so what, how will I feel if it is done So I sit in the 3am silence while the ringing in my ears like violence Are you gonna knock are you gonna come in and navigate this sanctuary of sin Within which I suffer myself and others quietly and wallow in all hate End it all turn out the lights but you know that you cannot kill what you did not create Mystery me with a dumb vision making promises he doesn’t keep A vague understanding that I’ll never show up making promises I doesn’t keep Keep keep keep keep keep keep making promises he doesn’t keep …………. Making promises he doesn’t keep It’s the depression If I believe I’m wrong that makes me right most of the time as standard It all falls apart into pieces in flame if I tried my best and planned hard What an introspect, go and blame the architect, if the building falls apart Who can I take to court for the failings and weaknesses of the human heart You blame the one who made the car if the engine doesn’t start You blame the one who led you to make mistakes based on the wisdom they impart You blame the one who wrote the books when reading doesn’t make you smart Who can I take to court for the failings and weaknesses of the human heart It’s the depression